Je ne sais quoi...

So you know I am enlightened now, right? Well, not really, but I thought it would be cool to say. I have wondered lately, how is it that Oprah knows something different for sure every month and I am still positively 100% sure about nothing? I mean I know a few things, but what I know or what I think it is that I know could change at any minute. Maybe it's because she is enlightened and well...I'm not. Anyway, I've got some revisions to do on my proposal so I can begin to collect my data. My committee wants me to do a factor analysis. I know. I thought the same thing as my eyes glazed over. I should add a donation feature to this blog so that I can begin taking donations for that stat expert it looks like I am going to need.

Cap City Confessions

Being with yourself without distractions is difficult. All those little "things" that you manage to mask during your day-to-day are all of a sudden bigger "things." Television was a great cover-up as was my internet surfing, dinner with friends, etc., etc. While it's nice that I am connecting with His peeps, I think the point might be that I connect with his #1 peep (again, I know God loves you, too) because by doing so I am growing as is our relationship. Maybe Lent is about abstaining from a comfort and relying on God to make you comfortable. I sound enlightened huh?

Estrogen

It's a funny thing.

Insomnia

I know - just a few weeks ago I couldn't wake up to save my life and last night I woke up at 1:00 a.m. as if it was time to get ready for work. In the past, how would I have handled this situation? Yep. You guessed it. I would have watched one of the shows recorded on my DVR. People, I am SICK. I used to record shows that I didn't like as much because God forbid I should run out of recorded television to watch or be forced to watch television in real time with all the commercials and such. I have not figured out yet if this is a test or if God is saying I have been without television long enough so just turn it on and have at it. I wish!

You Are Talented!

It felt good to hear. All of this time, energy, and hundreds of thousands of dollars (your eyes are not playing tricks on you) later and I began wondering what in the hell did I do to myself. See, it turns out that I do not want to go into academia. I got a Ph.D. (positive self-talk – support me here) and it turns out I want to work with children in schools. Over the past year and a half I have been doing some soul-searching. I mean the kind you do when you have no job and you really love to shop and there is a recession and oh wait a Depression of some sort and life is going to hell in a hand basket for everyone including those with doctorates. Literally. God led me to the schools – He paid me well and gave me the awareness that my passion was invoked while working there. He made a way for me to change advisors and get a job working in a low performing school and guess what! I love it! I love the students a bunch and often have to engage in a conversation with myself about whose needs are being served because although I am serving in the midst I am being served as well. And so, I completed my first school counselor application today. One order of fulfillment coming up!

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:10-11

Does Your Mother Love You?

I have skipped another day of blogging and I don't know what my problem is. I haven't been as creative since my Colloquium (that sounds official, huh). I still love television, but it just didn't feel as good this last time I caught a peek. (It makes sense that not honoring Jesus would be a buzz kill).

I have erased tons of stuff from my DVR. I used to record all of the CSI's, but no more...I love a crime drama, but I am beginning to think that watching this stuff is not the best thing. For instance, my neighbors have a chihuahua and one day last summer it was whining for hours on end. Of course in my mind this meant that they were dead and the dog was trying to communicate with me. Lo and behold I saw them a few days after I called the rental office to have someone go and check in on them because clearly I have a screw loose.

On a side note (I am making it my business to have at least one side note in every post), I have another follower. Someone felt pity for me and I appreciate it. My mother is not a follower (hopefully this public shaming will change things). Apparently she doesn't love me enough. But do you know what she does love? Television. I went to visit yesterday and as we ate dinner and talked to one another (I heard that this is what functional families do), she made a comment about the lack of television. Wow. How lovely.

The Wagon

It seems I have fallen off. In more ways than one. (Is that how that expression goes?) Anyway, I watched television again (which is why I didn't blog) and I haven't posted daily since last week. Stop complaining - I've been busy! Well, I have decided to recommit myself to this effort. NO MORE TELEVISION UNTIL HOLY THURSDAY! I literally had to ask for the Lord's help. I mean, I am really missing my television. It seems since I don't have television I actually have to connect with other human beings (novel right).

On a side note (because you know how I love a side note), I am on Day 2 of that book and I should probably be on Day 14, but who's counting?! So I am going to go now and give myself the gift of self-awareness. Wish me luck...